Just read a newspaper article,as i was reading,it reflected everything on me.This is the article that i read.Hope that everything will change for me..
I know of a father-son relationship that was never good when the boy was a young lad. He seemed to be the black sheep of the family (middle-child syndrome, they say) and no matter what he did, nothing seemed to agree with the father.
From his untidy handwriting to his performance in school, everything seemed dismal in the father's eyes. They say positive affirmation is a soothing balm to one's soul. So when the opposite is spoken often enough, one begins to rot on the inside without knowing.
These external factors seeped into the internal being of the boy and he began to think and live out the fact that he was never good enough for dad.
Not that the old man did not love his son but being the choleric that he was, he expected the people around him to be a performer just like him. And when he did not see that happening, his disappointment manifested itself in a way that was not very pretty - without his realisation.
Things spiralled downwards and it became a known fact to everyone in the family that this boy could do no good thing. He was not a naughty kid, mind you, but somehow, he just could not live up to his older sibling's excellent behaviour and exam results nor was he as cute and talented as his younger sibling. Therefore, when comparisons arose, he was always lacking in something.
And as the years went by, his self-esteem dropped further. In some ways you can say that he gave up. This compounded his poor showing in school and further aggravated his already hostile relationship with dad.
However, grandma was always there for him and encouraged him to put his best foot forward. She gave him the much-needed confidence and assurance that he was not a lost cause; she told him how precious he was and she made sure that she was there to defend him when the storms arose in his young life.
Years later, he entered college. Grandma once again reminded him to give it his best shot and was behind him all the way. He carefully picked the course he wanted to pursue and that was when his star began to shine.
He excelled in his studies and at the convocation, brought tears to his parents' eyes when he not only graduated but won awards.
How proud he was to be able to stand tall finally.
Many years on, his career takes him to great heights. He is happily married and is the proud father of two. The boy who could not is now a man who can. He was given a second chance to prove himself and he has.
But he was not the only one who needed and had a second chance.
Dad was similarly given a chance to prove his love for this "lost sheep". As he saw the tenacity and grit his boy had to make it in life, he began to realise that his unjustified harshness towards him had impeded the boy's development in his younger years.
He also realised that this son of his never ceased to love and respect him as a father through it all. The old man needed a second chance to make up for lost time in the early years. And this he did by simply being there for him as the young man started out in his career and early days of marriage.
The son began to experience the kind of fatherly love and acceptance that he had always wanted as a kid and the father began to see the hidden gems in his son that had always been there - had he not been blinded by the other factors.
There was healing and reconciliation although not in so many words. Deep down, they both knew that being human would mean making mistakes; in their heart of hearts they realise that nothing can separate them from each other's love because they are family.
How can a father not love his own flesh and blood? And how can a son not understand that his father manifested some raw human emotions out of his desire to see his son do well?
These days, father and son get along famously. And the grandchildren are the apple of the old man's eyes.
When an opportunity is lost, a second chance may not always come by. If it does, lay hold of it and seize the day. There is no shame in second chances. It allows us to deal with the past in a tangible way instead of sweeping it under the carpet and letting it fester. And more often than not, second chances always make a person stronger and the reconciliation sweeter.
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1 comment:
i hope you will excel in your tertiary education and stand high later on, like the boy in the article. It's better late than never. I'm sure you have characters in your who are just like the boy's granny. They will always give you their blessings and you are always in their prayers to do well. So do play your part. good luck.
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